Sometimes, even at 40, I still question what this whole "life thing" is all about. What am I suppose to be doing? What's 'my' purpose? I try to be mindful of what's happening around me, to be present in every moment, to create and enjoy the beauty in my surroundings. Is that enough? Is that all there is? After our life, what's left of us? Just 'things'?! What's the point of having these things and what will happen to them? Does it really even matter? Look at all the antique and thrift stores that have nothing but 'things'. Where were they before? Who did they belong to?
I was in an old house a few months back. It was a house that belonged to a friend's family members. I actually had the privilege of walking around to see if there was anything I might be interested in purchasing. And trust me, I did do some purchasing! I mean, this was 90 years worth of untouched stuff or 'things'. And I absolutely love anything antique or vintage. I walked in and started looking around in amazement. It was quite overwhelming to be honest. I bent down and picked up a homemade jar of green beans. I took a few deep breaths and even though I tried, I couldn't help but cry! I have to admit, I was a little embarrassed. At that very moment, as I was holding the jar, I had envisioned someone planting those green beans, growing them, picking them, cooking and canning them in a hot kitchen. A now, old hot kitchen. Someone had put a lot of work, and obviously love into each bean. But why? Here they sit, this jar of green beans, covered in dust and a near rusted lid. Only to be thrown away eventually. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm sure there were plenty of green beans that were consumed and enjoyed by this family. But not this jar!
To be completely honest, I'm not exactly even sure of what I'm trying to say here. To me, it just seems sad. Is that all that could be left of us? Just dusty old things? Sad that even as I type this, I bet those green beans are still sitting on that very shelf. And furthermore, as I type this, I'm still trying to figure out just why I think it's so sad.
Diane, this is one of the most beautiful posts I've ever read on a blog. So much of your heart comes through on it that I feel I know you maybe even more than some people who personally are acquainted with you. It's not the things/stuff that make you cry. Those are just symbols of the people who once held them and cherished them and it's these unknown people you feel a connection with.
ReplyDeleteI want you to know that mindfulness is one of the most beautiful gifts a person can have. Whole books have been written about that. People in this hectic multitasking world today yearn for mindfulness.
It is important to you to create beauty and that's another gift. You do that with capturing the simple lovely things of your life with your camera, the crusty bread you bake, giving your family of yourself, gardening and putting up the harvest from it.
Sometimes when we love beauty so much that it hurts, we're tempted to hold on to it. We can't, Diane. We have to enjoy it, then open our hands and let it go, trusting that there will be fresh blessings each morning for the day ahead. I would never attempt to speak of spiritual things to someone on their blog. Even my blog is not a place where I "preach." But I do believe that God gives us so much beauty in our days, around us all the time, for the pure enjoyment of it and it pleases him when we are good stewards of it. I think you're a good steward of your life, Diane. Being sad about that jar of green beans just shows how sensitive you are to the woman who put her time into it. Maybe you think she lived her life in vain. I don't think she did. I choose to believe she knew that the hours she spent over a hot stove were important hours.
Yours are too, Diane.
Dewena, your words make so much sense. I must tell you, when I first read your comment, it made me cry. (I'm so emotional these days. Ugh!) I have read it 3 times now!! Thank you for taking the time to send such wonderful words of wisdom my way, that alone, is truely a gift. I am very glad that you stumbled upon my blog. I have a feeling God may have had a hand in that! I am thankful for your friendship.
DeleteI will email you when I get more time.
XO
Diane, I'm so glad that you weren't offended by me speaking so personally. From the first time I read your blog you reminded me so much of our youngest son's wife. And you're young enough to be my daughter so I wrote as a mother would. Now I'm going to go look at today's post with the picture of your family!
DeleteDewena