Sometimes, even at 40, I still question what this whole "life thing" is all about. What am I suppose to be doing? What's 'my' purpose? I try to be mindful of what's happening around me, to be present in every moment, to create and enjoy the beauty in my surroundings. Is that enough? Is that all there is? After our life, what's left of us? Just 'things'?! What's the point of having these things and what will happen to them? Does it really even matter? Look at all the antique and thrift stores that have nothing but 'things'. Where were they before? Who did they belong to?
I was in an old house a few months back. It was a house that belonged to a friend's family members. I actually had the privilege of walking around to see if there was anything I might be interested in purchasing. And trust me, I did do some purchasing! I mean, this was 90 years worth of untouched stuff or 'things'. And I absolutely love anything antique or vintage. I walked in and started looking around in amazement. It was quite overwhelming to be honest. I bent down and picked up a homemade jar of green beans. I took a few deep breaths and even though I tried, I couldn't help but cry! I have to admit, I was a little embarrassed. At that very moment, as I was holding the jar, I had envisioned someone planting those green beans, growing them, picking them, cooking and canning them in a hot kitchen. A now, old hot kitchen. Someone had put a lot of work, and obviously love into each bean. But why? Here they sit, this jar of green beans, covered in dust and a near rusted lid. Only to be thrown away eventually. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm sure there were plenty of green beans that were consumed and enjoyed by this family. But not this jar!
To be completely honest, I'm not exactly even sure of what I'm trying to say here. To me, it just seems sad. Is that all that could be left of us? Just dusty old things? Sad that even as I type this, I bet those green beans are still sitting on that very shelf. And furthermore, as I type this, I'm still trying to figure out just why I think it's so sad.
